Mediation starts with an individual assessment meeting, often called a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting).
Each person attends separately. This meeting allows you to:
You must usually attend a MIAM before progressing to mediation.
After both MIAMs have taken place, the mediator will confirm whether mediation is suitable and safe for everyone involved.
If you all agree to continue:
At the end of mediation, you will be advised to seek independent legal advice on any proposals you have reached together.
Your lawyer can then help:
Arrangements for children often remain flexible, while financial agreements usually need to be formalised.
During sessions, the mediator will make a note of key information, ideas, and possible options.
You will be able to see and comment on what is recorded.
In person, this may be done using a flip chart
Online, this may involve screen sharing or a virtual whiteboard
You are encouraged to ask questions at any time. If something is unclear or you feel uncomfortable, the mediator is there to help and will check in with you throughout the process.
The mediator can provide useful information to support your decision-making, including:
Approaches to financial arrangements
Considerations when making plans for children
Relevant legal principles and court processes
Signposting to other professionals or services who may assist
If you begin to identify proposals that could work, the mediator will record these in a confidential summary. You can then take this to a legal adviser to turn the proposals into a legally binding agreement if appropriate.
Every mediation is tailored to the people involved. Your experience will depend on your circumstances and the approach your mediator uses [See
Terminology and FAQs].
In general, sessions focus on what matters most to you now – your concerns, priorities, and ideas for the future.
You may briefly touch on what has happened in the past, but mediation is mainly about finding practical solutions going forward rather than revisiting old disputes.
The mediator will guide the conversation and set ground rules to help discussions remain constructive. This includes:
Listening to each other respectfully
Keeping the focus on resolving issues
Managing any conflict or strong emotions so they do not overwhelm the process
Most family mediations take place in a relaxed, informal setting designed to help you feel safe and able to talk openly.